She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
