Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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