where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
