i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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