I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
