I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
