When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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