Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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