Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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