He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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