...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
