Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
