so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
