what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
