I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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