I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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