Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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