doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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