I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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