She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
