I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
