TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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