your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
