it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Randomize
