i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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