is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
