at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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