Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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