Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
