Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
