Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude i'm inner monologue high
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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