i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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