the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
