covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
