Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
