im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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