you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
