Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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