if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
