I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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