There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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