My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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