You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
