He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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