I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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