Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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