Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You ruined the universe
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
