even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
