Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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