ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
